Turdneau cover

[lafrisbee]

How the turdneau cover is even a thing in Tesla is obscene.
I am going to just make a few posts below which have only ONE reason each as to the absurdity of the Design of this "feature."
But in this post let me share how I imagined the turdneau cover evolved into its current form in the cyberturd.

Elon's child scribbled a future truck" in Elon's school.

Elon thought how cool it would be to make the vehicle so his kid could feel good about being a genius.

Elon saw the Cyberturd would need something special to reduce drag caused by having an open bed( "an open bed" is a central part to the definition of what a Pick-up truck actually has). But disregard the facts if you are Elon, make the vehicle a car by enclosing the back area, and keep calling it a "pick-up truck."
Then when Elon comes up with a brilliant way to enclose the bed with a rolling door "Tonneau cover" all the Tesla engineering "yes men" get to work "making" Elon's ignorance come to reality. Rolling doors are severely limited in their functionality. As soon as I was made aware of the stupid consideration of a rolling door in the Cyberturd I public ally expressed concerns about the standard flaws...

(Please give me an hour or so to post each failure of the design team's use of the rolling door turdneau cover. If you read this on the afternoon of Feb 6th wait an hour before you "discuss" any of these first few posts....please)

 

[lafrisbee]

First is just the mass. Nowhere can I get the real weight of this monstrous piece of garbage. The "Door" itself has to weigh hundreds of pounds. then there is the frame and supports that can handle 300lbs standing on it. And then there is the motor, controller, and wiring with all its bracketing. Weight is "one" of the issues discussed in efficiency AND performance.
As to mass. "The best part is NO part." (Never truer than with the turdneau cover.)

 

[lafrisbee]

Consistently Tesla people praise EV's over ICE because EV's have fewer moving parts. SO Has anyone added up the moving parts in the turdneau cover assembly? It might actually have more moving parts in the turdneau cover than the rest of the vehicle. Now what do Tesla engineers know about moving parts and lifetime costs? Maintenance from wear and unforeseen breakage has been analyzed, and Tesla has NOT proven the Turdneau cover is better than a non-moving cover, or a cover with fewer moving parts. OR no cover at all.

 

[vcor]

If you hate the Cybertruck so much, why spend so many hours posting about how you hate every detail? Are you a TSLA shorter? Dealer? Oil barron? Can't afford it? Just a hateful person? Buy a used 1990 F150 or some other generic truck and be happy! All your rants are really sort of sad.

 

[zoomer0056]

If you hate the Cybertruck so much, why spend so many hours posting about how you hate every detail? Are you a TSLA shorter? Dealer? Oil barron? Can't afford it? Just a hateful person? Buy a used 1990 F150 or some other generic truck and be happy! All your rants are really sort of sad.

I bet there's massive acid reflux involved. Such vitriolic focus can't be good.

 

[lafrisbee]

Placement. Not where the cover is when it is deployed, but where it is when it is rolled away, and the path the rollaway door takes to get there.
Let me ask you. Do you know where it is when it is stored? And in what it is in? And now how is the average CyberTurd owner going to do routine maintenance on it. And how often is the storage "box" going to get full of dirt, leaves...and small rocks? ANd how easy is it to clean that box out so it won't fail to work? The turdneau cover is pretty much in the least accessible place it could possibly be. The only worst place would be to put it next to the battery pack...oh? Wait....
Now another issue with placement? If they'd have placed the storage area at the very rear of the Cyberturd I know an engineering solution would be needed so the tailgate could be lowered to get into the Bed/vault/trunk. But that could have been done. I mean the roll top inherently leaks so having the tolerance between the cover and the tailgate wouldn't cause flooding of the trunk.

 

[lafrisbee]

And once "placed" either at the rear (or completely removed) Tesla engineers could have designed an adequate (large) passthrough between the cab and the trunk/vault So owners could haul long items in safety. And those that wanted to camp could buy A FHS wedge of a Camper shell that would seamlessly attach to the vault area. Any Camper shell would provide a Water-proof, safe area to sleep or store supplies and toys. But Tesla could have easily designed it from their "add-on" store. And I'd have grumbled and smiled when adding, it no matter the price.
The largest personal vehicle Tesla makes. And it is designed to go "off-road," and they don't design it for safe sleeping or waterproof. Sleeping in a tent I can do even without a car. All throwing a tent in the bed does is limit what kind of tent you can sleep in. The $3000 Tesla Cybertent option.... $3000 could be better spent getting a very high quality compartmental tent, but you'll find better tent options for way less than a 1/3 that price.
But the pass through and a stainless "camper shell" would set me/us back another $7-12k? I'd pay it for a REAL HVAC controlled huge space to sleep, store my gear, and for the dog while I am driving or away from the vehicle.

 

[johnnycnote]

 

[lafrisbee]

PRICE! The initial price/expense of that Turd!? LOL I bet having that turd rollaway cover costs MORE than a well designed camper top would have.
Imagine the Cyberturd just having an open bed and costing $10,000 LESS. And having an option to buy a Tesla camper shell.

 

[lafrisbee]

The usefulness of the "Vault/bed/trunk Because of the Turdneau being left in the more aero-dynamic setting. It will be the LAST place anyone will put anything. First place would be the cabin. If for some reason not there then the frunk is the easiest and quickest, and most safe and secure.
Only as a last choice will someone place something in the trunk. Just like with every other car that has a lid over its Vault/bed/trunk, People don't bother with it....Now the frunk is a frunk so it has that extra needed effort and time. But with the frunk your items are safe from getting soaked. And the Turdneau cover takes more time and effort than the frunk. The turdneau cover loses on ever worthwhile metric in terms of ease, security, and safety when compared to the cabin or the frunk.

 

[lafrisbee]

The Turdneau's reach even goes beyond just blocking the usefulness of vehicle.
Manufacturing First principles, subsection III paragraph 2.
Fewer parts to manufacture, as in common design. Tesla decided that the back seats would be attached to the back wall so a bigger area behind the front seats would be created as if this area is going to be used by someone. It isn't creating more versatility, or improved storage for 99.996% of the Cyberturd owners.
"Common Parts" is something Tesla likes to brag about when it talks of reducing costs. The back and front seats "legs" could have, would have, and should have been "common." This reduces cost significantly when it comes to engineering, tooling, and economy of scale.
But the Turdneau cover created a bs creation of a "sleeping space" on the floor behind the front seats, and thus created extra costs.
The turdneau cover created additional cost in the seating. Even the front seats cost more because the turdneau cover reduced the benefit of economy of scale for the front seats, and created more costs due to design, tooling, and complexity of the back seats.

 

[lafrisbee]

Before I go further I would like to acknowledge my fans having difficulty containing themselves over my insight as to the failure of the Cyberturd's Turdneau cover.

 

[Unclepaul]

Seems like OP is making up problems that don't exist. Biggest complaint we hear from traditional Pickup owners is the lack of a lockable bed. Thieves can easily reach in and swipe anything that is there. The Cybertruck elegantly provides a solution with a secure locking toneau that quickly folds out of sight when not wanted.This is a first effort by Tesla, and like most of their features, it most likely will get better over time.
Elon has stated that the Cybertruck will not be the solution for many, but for others it will be a breath of fresh air in the truck world.All toneaus that provide protection tend to be heavy. The light weight canvas ones really provide no theft protection.
On the other hand, the still 9 years old part of Elon's brain will probably chuckle at the turd allusion. He will send him a fart right back while chuckling quietly to himself.
Everyone agrees that it is heavy, but it is the nature of truck things to be relatively heavy. The tailgate is heavy, but can be lifted with just a couple fingers. Anyone with a bad back knows just how hard it is to close a standard tailgate.
Tesla's Tambu slotted toneau cover is far better executed than a similar design from its competitor Rivian. Tesla's opens and closes smoother and more quickly. The in bed lighting is better and tie down rails are a plus as well. A couple people can walk on the toneau, opening up a whole new world of handiness.

 

[Unclepaul]

OP does not make the rules on this forum. Anyone can respond with comments as they wish at any time. Elon is a big proponent of free speech. Telling someone they cannot post when they wish is contrary to that right.

 

[lafrisbee]

And the look of the Turdneau cover? lol. I haven't seen a YouTube Tesla fanboy have to lie any harder than when they try to say something positive about that stupid-looking, out-of-place of a turdneau cover. And over time it is going to look more and more "old and worn." Unlike the rest of the Cyberturd no one has figured out how to make it more attractive by putting a skin over it. lol. Good luck Pretty Tesla boys. Keeping that nice and shiney? haha You think it looks "ok" now? wait till you see what "ok" is going to look like in a couple of years.
And besides, An open bed actually looks cooler than covering it with a "corrugated" roll top. The Turdneau Designers didn't improved the edgey angles and stainless steel sleek flat panel vibe of the Cyberturd with that monstrosity of an extensive textured flat black roll top. The rolltop looks completely out of place and takes away from what Elon thought he was making.

 

[lafrisbee]

OP does not make the rules on this forum. Anyone can respond with comments as they wish at any time. Elon is a big proponent of free speech. Telling someone they cannot post when they wish is contrary to that right.

Do you really think with that brain. I never said they cannot. I asked for people to allow me to make individual posts of the plethora of failures Elon insisted be part of the Cyberturd just so it would be able to have its worst feature.
I clearly asked. It was not a demand. And I never told anyone they could not. I never restricted their ability to speak freely. Or post when they felt they should.
I asked for people to wait so all the Faults of the Cyberturd turdneau cover could be easily read without interruption. If anyone restricted free speech it were those that felt the need to comment by interrupting my placement of a list.

But no mind. I know there is a broad spectrum of humanity. I expect there to be a few that had no other motive than to disrupt. I just asked for the few that are courteous to allow me the floor so that matter of the Turdneau cover would be easier to find, and not have interruptions.

 

[lafrisbee]

So here is where the turdneau cover debacle failed: Price Performance, and looks...

Tesla's design team were not able to follow the basic principles of Tesla design and engineering due to Elon wanting a feature that was easily seen to be flawed for that use.
And it negatively impacted every area where vehicles are judged.
The turdneau is visually unattractive and detracts from the desire of Elon and the design team to make the vehicle look like the future, be edgy, and appear angular. It ranks third in unattractiveness and achieving the desired futuristic look behind the Bumpers and the windshield wiper. (At least those were constructed on the basis of form following function. A roll top door is not designed to used in a less than vertical position when exposed to the elements.)
Costs have increased due to complexity of the roll top, as well as modifications to the vehicle design to accommodate he failures of the rolltop.
Performance and ineffciency are worse because of the complexity and weight, as well as taking up space in the floor that could be used for battery storage.
Looks...?

 

[ThomasD]

My concern is Water and Debris getting into the Mechanism and roller assembly. When the Truck Vault cover is out of warranty I think the cost of repair will be high. If I was getting a Bed Cover that is secure and can support a lot of weight I would get this.

 

[Suns_PSD]

That lockable cover might be a favorite part of the CT actually. A secure storage space is pretty valuable, which is why I just added a $4.5K camper shell to my Ford truck.

Anyways, OP's posts' seem highly personal.

 

[Xenoilphobe]

How the turdneau cover is even a thing in Tesla is obscene.
I am going to just make a few posts below which have only ONE reason each as to the absurdity of the Design of this "feature."
But in this post let me share how I imagined the turdneau cover evolved into its current form in the cyberturd.

Elon's child scribbled a future truck" in Elon's school.

Elon thought how cool it would be to make the vehicle so his kid could feel good about being a genius.

Elon saw the Cyberturd would need something special to reduce drag caused by having an open bed( "an open bed" is a central part to the definition of what a Pick-up truck actually has). But disregard the facts if you are Elon, make the vehicle a car by enclosing the back area, and keep calling it a "pick-up truck."
Then when Elon comes up with a brilliant way to enclose the bed with a rolling door "Tonneau cover" all the Tesla engineering "yes men" get to work "making" Elon's ignorance come to reality. Rolling doors are severely limited in their functionality. As soon as I was made aware of the stupid consideration of a rolling door in the Cyberturd I public ally expressed concerns about the standard flaws...

(Please give me an hour or so to post each failure of the design team's use of the rolling door turdneau cover. If you read this on the afternoon of Feb 6th wait an hour before you "discuss" any of these first few posts....please

How the turdneau cover is even a thing in Tesla is obscene.
I am going to just make a few posts below which have only ONE reason each as to the absurdity of the Design of this "feature."
But in this post let me share how I imagined the turdneau cover evolved into its current form in the cyberturd.

Elon's child scribbled a future truck" in Elon's school.

Elon thought how cool it would be to make the vehicle so his kid could feel good about being a genius.

Elon saw the Cyberturd would need something special to reduce drag caused by having an open bed( "an open bed" is a central part to the definition of what a Pick-up truck actually has). But disregard the facts if you are Elon, make the vehicle a car by enclosing the back area, and keep calling it a "pick-up truck."
Then when Elon comes up with a brilliant way to enclose the bed with a rolling door "Tonneau cover" all the Tesla engineering "yes men" get to work "making" Elon's ignorance come to reality. Rolling doors are severely limited in their functionality. As soon as I was made aware of the stupid consideration of a rolling door in the Cyberturd I public ally expressed concerns about the standard flaws...

(Please give me an hour or so to post each failure of the design team's use of the rolling door turdneau cover. If you read this on the afternoon of Feb 6th wait an hour before you "discuss" any of these first few posts....

How the turdneau cover is even a thing in Tesla is obscene.
I am going to just make a few posts below which have only ONE reason each as to the absurdity of the Design of this "feature."
But in this post let me share how I imagined the turdneau cover evolved into its current form in the cyberturd.

Elon's child scribbled a future truck" in Elon's school.

Elon thought how cool it would be to make the vehicle so his kid could feel good about being a genius.

Elon saw the Cyberturd would need something special to reduce drag caused by having an open bed( "an open bed" is a central part to the definition of what a Pick-up truck actually has). But disregard the facts if you are Elon, make the vehicle a car by enclosing the back area, and keep calling it a "pick-up truck."
Then when Elon comes up with a brilliant way to enclose the bed with a rolling door "Tonneau cover" all the Tesla engineering "yes men" get to work "making" Elon's ignorance come to reality. Rolling doors are severely limited in their functionality. As soon as I was made aware of the stupid consideration of a rolling door in the Cyberturd I public ally expressed concerns about the standard flaws...

(Please give me an hour or so to post each failure of the design team's use of the rolling door turdneau cover. If you read this on the afternoon of Feb 6th wait an hour before you "discuss" any of these first few posts....please)

How the turdneau cover is even a thing in Tesla is obscene.
I am going to just make a few posts below which have only ONE reason each as to the absurdity of the Design of this "feature."
But in this post let me share how I imagined the turdneau cover evolved into its current form in the cyberturd.

Elon's child scribbled a future truck" in Elon's school.

Elon thought how cool it would be to make the vehicle so his kid could feel good about being a genius.

Elon saw the Cyberturd would need something special to reduce drag caused by having an open bed( "an open bed" is a central part to the definition of what a Pick-up truck actually has). But disregard the facts if you are Elon, make the vehicle a car by enclosing the back area, and keep calling it a "pick-up truck."
Then when Elon comes up with a brilliant way to enclose the bed with a rolling door "Tonneau cover" all the Tesla engineering "yes men" get to work "making" Elon's ignorance come to reality. Rolling doors are severely limited in their functionality. As soon as I was made aware of the stupid consideration of a rolling door in the Cyberturd I public ally expressed concerns about the standard flaws...

(Please give me an hour or so to post each failure of the design team's use of the rolling door turdneau cover. If you read this on the afternoon of Feb 6th wait an hour before you "discuss" any of these first few posts....please)