The best advice I can provide is to be flexible on the color, especially the interior as it will increase your pool of viable options dramatically with these cars. You sound very similar to myself 6 or so years ago and I would only entertain used Tesla Model S's w/black interior and 21's. I finally found what I wanted only to discover that those two items were terrible to live with. The black interior, while great looking, gets incredibly hot compared to tan, cream or white. Ultra white has become my favor due to being the best combination of looks and performance, IMO.
It took me a couple of used Model S's (I've owned 7 used Model S's now and this 2023 Model Y is our first new Tesla, for reference) to learn that being a little bit more flexible on color combo opens the doors dramatically on what vehicles match your criteria. The 3rd one we bought was such a good deal I couldn't refuse but it was tan interior. I really really didn't want it but went ahead and pulled the trigger. It was only during ownership that I discovered how much better it was to own even though it wasn't my first choice for looks (this was before white interior was a thing).
Along those same lines, I would consider ANY version of Autopilot/FSD software. The important thing is to make sure the price on the car you're looking at takes this into account. By that, I mean that if you limit yourself to ONLY cars with EAP for $60k you may be missing out on a lot of cherry cars for low $50's that you can buy and easily add EAP after purchase. This, too, will widen your pool dramatically. Just have a good sense of the three different price ranges for now AP software, EAP and FSD and proceed accordingly and add whatever you like once you buy it. This was more of an issue in the recent past when Tesla removed the EAP option as you weren't able to add it after purchase if the car didn't have it. They brought it back so all three options (for AP2) are available once again.
Don't sleep on AP1 cars with full Autopilot (aka Highway AP) either. They're very good values currently and the user experience is just as good if not better in many instances. I much prefer my AP1 cars on the highway to my EAP/FSD cars as it's a much more relaxing and enjoyable experience. I'm sure the newer hardware cars will suprass them someday but as of right now it still very much feels like paying a lot of money to be a beta tester with your life for Tesla on the AP2 (or whatever that # is now) cars.
