The player or the ball?

[bonnie]

So to be clear, I am speaking as a moderator and not a participant. But I might say the same thing as a participant.

It is helpful to the discussion to not make generalized statements such as "that's what happens all too often on these forums".

A rule that I have in place for my team at work is that they don't get to say "people in manufacturing never do ..." or "the lawyers always take forever to do ...". Use a specific name. We talk about specific behaviors instead of generalizing group behaviors. It's amazing the difference it's made in terms of people working together instead of against each other.

(I feel the same way about using dismissive names such as 'fangirl' or 'fanboy'. People speak from their experience. Putting a label on them is a way to belittle the experience they've had.)

 

[wormhole]

So to be clear, I am speaking as a moderator and not a participant. But I might say the same thing as a participant.

It is helpful to the discussion to not make generalized statements such as "that's what happens all too often on these forums".

A rule that I have in place for my team at work is that they don't get to say "people in manufacturing never do ..." or "the lawyers always take forever to do ...". Use a specific name. We talk about specific behaviors instead of generalizing group behaviors. It's amazing the difference it's made in terms of people working together instead of against each other.

(I feel the same way about using dismissive names such as 'fangirl' or 'fanboy'. People speak from their experience. Putting a label on them is a way to belittle the experience they've had.)

well a couple of things...i'll change my language to be, "that's what I have both seen and been subject to all too often on these forums", that said, my statement wasn't a 100% absolute, while you're example of 'never' is. No lecture there Bonnie?

- - - Updated - - -

Please quote the portion where I was demeaning or belittling.

certainly, so in your example, the statement, and I quote, "Also, we might agree that Jimbo probably needs to get therapy for his homicidal tendencies and" isn't both demeaning and belittling?

 

[brianman]

Example B: Big deal vs. not a big deal
Slacker gets stuck sometimes.
Jimbo: This is horrible. I use Slacker as my primary media source and without it I get homicidal in traffic.
Jack: Doesn't affect me. I use only AM radio and it doesn't have this problem.

...

Also, we might agree that Jimbo probably needs to get therapy for his homicidal tendencies and that it's amazing that Jack listens to AM radio exclusively.

certainly, so in your example, the statement, and I quote, "Also, we might agree that Jimbo probably needs to get therapy for his homicidal tendencies and" isn't both demeaning and belittling?

No, I do not. Reread the underlined. If someone describes himself/herself as homicidal, it's totally reasonable to recommend therapy to that person. In fact, some would argue you might have a responsibility to do so. If you consider that "demeaning" or "belittling", then we simply use these words very differently.

 

[wormhole]

Yes, of course...i see in your example Jimbo was being completely serious when he said that...got it.

 

[Krugerrand]

Sad that many here seems to attack the player and not the ball..
A gentleman goes for the ball ,thats how we play football in europe while in the US the players attack the players..
Be gentlemans and play the ball not the player.

Give constructive answers and not threats to how these tesla problems can be disolved and maybe prevented.

I just gor a threat again on how my posts are not constructive.. whats next ? Hate mails?

Thanks!

I'm going to try and help you out, Newbie.

1) It's considered rude/in bad taste on this continent for a person on a forum to reprint publically a private message from someone without their consent to do so.

2) It's equally rude/in bad taste to group an entire population of people by saying '...while in the US the players attack the players...' because that's simply not true. In Canada, as an example, TYPICALLY, hockey players are taught to skate to where the puck will be, rather than where the puck currently is - (and if an opposition player gets in your way, take them out - as in with a LEGAL body/hip check). It is true that sometimes coaches teach different, or players lose their brains or act out inappropriately and forget about the game and 'attack' other players. That latter happens with players in all kinds of sports from all over the world and you know it.

3) The beauty of the Internet is that we all get an opportunity to talk with people from other parts of the world. What we can't forget is that there can be and often are significant cultural differences. This means the chance of misunderstandings is increased. Consider for a moment, if you will, that you've misinterpreted those who you feel have threatened you. If they are threatening bodily harm or the like, then certainly report the threat to a forum moderator to be handled as the first step.

4) While your English is quite good, I believe that you aren't fully understanding what others are saying to you, nor are you using the most accurate language back. English is a tricky language even for those of us born speaking it straight out of the womb.

 

[NigelM]

I'm going to try and help you out, Newbie.

Too late. But the gesture is appreciated.

 

[JRP3]

Hopefully this time it will stick :biggrin:

 

[woof]

Sad that many here seems to attack the player and not the ball..
A gentleman goes for the ball ,thats how we play football in europe while in the US the players attack the players..

Football (the one with the round ball that is only kicked or headed) has penalties for contact with the other players. Thus "in Europe...a gentleman goes for the ball".

Football (the one with the oblong ball that is thrown, kicked, or carried) the players do crash into each other...on purpose! No penalty for this contact. Thus "US the players attack the players".

Sounds bad until you realize they are two completely different sports with completely different rules, that happen to have the same name.

"Gentlemen" (and ladies) play both sports. Doesn't make the oblong ball players any less of a sportsman than those that play with with the round ball. They aren't playing the same game.

So the whole metaphor which is the basis of this thread is flawed.