Update because I know you’re all wondering.
Found another match but it would require driving to Tampa, and that makes no sense (that’s a general statement about Florida, not just about distance (sorry, couldn’t help myself)). So they ordered the canister of oil (as my SA calls it) to add to the motor. Fix takes 45 minutes. Once it arrives we can pick up same day. It was shipped last week, so might come today, might come Monday. Who can say?
If it comes today, should be able to pick it up Sunday before everyone leaves on various trips for three days; otherwise, I should be able to grab it Wednesday. Soon our long national nightmare will be over.
Meanwhile my EDD updates every day to: <yesterday> to <yesterday> + 7. Maybe the oil canister is a Time Machine?