What do you do (admin and members if they know) when a forum member passes away?

[spdpsba]

This question is nagging me for some time. What do the admin and other forum members do when they get to know when someone is passed away?. I have not read the policy or remember what was mentioned. Me, being a health care professional, I deal with this everyday and try and have some answers to difficult questions like this.

Do TMC leave the profile untouched? Or use customary RIP signs and keep the posts active?

Or do we have a "Rest In Peace" group that adds a banner. Or do we have an In Memoriam forum where we post whatever information we have, an obit if we can find one or the family provides one.

Or do we set the account user to disable if not used for few months? - Or like google send some reminder to the nearest kin and give owneship of the emails?

Does the old post remain?

Anyway, my apologies for asking about this, but when I made the comment about memory loss to remember finger print scanner part it got me to thinking about how the forum handle this?

Not a very relevant post - may be more of a question to admin/moderators. But was wondering whether it will shed some light and people get to know it. Btw, none of my family members read my posts/ responses here however, I am wondering whether knowing that part of me is also important for them to understand me! If so, how easy to access my account and read some of those posts?

Btw, please resist making any insensitive comments, thank you.

@GeorgeSymonds - please move this as it fits the forum rules.

 

[GeorgeSymonds]

it’s not a situation I’ve had to help out with

I imagine without any family request the user just becomes dormant and we’ve certainly had people come and go and I’ve no idea if they have just lost interest or other. I can think of forums where I’ve left and not been back for years

If a family member did get in touch I would pass the details to one of the senior team who have powers I don’t have. There is certainly capability to remove someone including their history as we get this type of request from time to time, and the site has been known to do it for other reasons. I guess they could look to make the account available too. I’m not aware of any RIP type flag, and I can’t think of any other forum where I’ve seen such a thing

 

[spdpsba]

it’s not a situation I’ve had to help out with

I imagine without any family request the user just becomes dormant and we’ve certainly had people come and go and I’ve no idea if they have just lost interest or other. I can think of forums where I’ve left and not been back for years

If a family member did get in touch I would pass the details to one of the senior team who have powers I don’t have. There is certainly capability to remove someone including their history as we get this type of request from time to time, and the site has been known to do it for other reasons. I guess they could look to make the account available too. I’m not aware of any RIP type flag, and I can’t think of any other forum where I’ve seen such a thing

This forum discuss some of the above questions and may be forum admin/moderators can have some discussion around this if needed. However, they are financial forums and investment takes place on these forume, so functionally they are different.

What do you do when a member passes away?

First of all, let me say how sad this is, my condolences to friends and family. Secondly... I notice Xenforo forum does this when someone passes away I recently had two members pass away on my forum and I leave the profile untouched other than I figured that was a respectful solution...

xenforo.com

 

[Overworked]

On another site I frequent they have a little RIP marker. A couple of posters in one old thread there are marked as below:

 

[WannabeOwner]

How do you (reliably) know they've passed away? I reckon that is your biggest problem ("Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated")

I've been absent from this forum on a couple of occasions for a prolonged period of time. Quite a number of people got in touch (those that had a means of contacting me), which was nice, and when I reappeared there was similar applause (might have been Boo-ing, I can't remember ... I took it as being the same difference: folk noticed )

If I went, and didn't come back, I'm not sure how anyone would know I was GONE gone.

I was involved with a website that was specifically to handle things after someone died. That had a process for "executors" to be named (email addresses) by the person and needed multiple of those people to say "Yup, he has definitely GONE" for the processes to trigger. A feature of that site was that it then unlocked some content, for the executors - so it could contain, fore example, the fact that I use this site (and what my handle is) and would like it to be known that I am GONE gone.

But apart from that I don't think I know anyone who would think to post a message here, let alone contact a MOD ... when I shuffle off ... so not sure how anyone would know.

 

[spdpsba]

off ... so not sure how anyone would know.

Just by making sure there are options available for family members to leave a message. I think one bit of it I am unable to process is just not myself but lots of other well known members like you have done around 10000 posts - not all of them may be important or ground breaking stuff but still that is considerable amount of material that has come from you and it may be very important memory for your family. They may not be interested in details of Tesla issues but still there is something about you in that writing. I don’t want my family to miss that bit of myself.

 

[Js1977]

It's would be a logistical problem already and in 50 odd years time and beyond even more to track all this. Ofcourse AI might by then take care of this. I only say this since I know of a personal friend (passed away about 4 years ago early 50's) and you would visit his profile and never know besides some posts and I personally do not allow posts on my page because its only there for presence.

There are also youtube people I followed when they where alive and you visit their channel and would not be any wiser unless you read some comments.

You also have security risks with marked profiles where hackers know that the person is deceased and they can assume/sell/impersonate identities without much risk.

I know only two things are for sure in life....you live and you die. Although this the reality for everyone, I wouldn't like to think the the internet becomes littered with digital tombstones as in such case it eventually would and become very morbid.

RIP

 

[spdpsba]

digital tombstones

Memories rather than tombstones may be!

 

[Js1977]

Memories rather than tombstones may be!

Most ordinary cremated people dont have tombstones (waste of space and expense this day and age imho). You can still visit them on the internet if they are listed on your favourites.

 

[Drew57]

The issue with web forums is that 'we know' each other but we don't really know the real person, just an Avatar or an impression based on the tone of someones postings etc. With very few exceptions we don't even share an actual photograph, therefore when someone passes away it is pot luck whether that is picked up or not.

 

[GlynG]

If a person is of the opinion that their loved ones may be interested in their posts on any forums then the only way I can see that being accessible is if the person leaves a list with log ins and passwords of those forums they interacted with as part of their preparations.
I think many people have the shoe box with certain paperwork that would be discovered on their death - and indeed some people do prepare for the event many many years before its likely to happen - just like having a will.
The family that find that paperwork then have the option to log in and announce the event if they wish - or inform a moderator and request others be notified or discuss whatever their thoughts are regarding deleting the account or annotating the member details.

People come and go on all forums, sometimes a death is announced majority of the time people just withdraw and we never know the reason why.

 

[Adopado]

If a person is of the opinion that their loved ones may be interested in their posts on any forums then the only way I can see that being accessible is if the person leaves a list with log ins and passwords of those forums they interacted with as part of their preparations.

I agree with this approach. It shouldn't be up to the forum to do anything special. The forum could then simply have an auto delete of any account that hasn't been active for 12 months or whatever period suits.

 

[MrBadger]

The forum could then simply have an auto delete of any account that hasn't been active for 12 months or whatever period suits.

Unfortunately the forum Admin take the approach that everything stays, irrespective. When I was a mod, there was someone who wanted to to exercise their 'right to be forgotten'. It didn't happen, and they simply became 'deleted user xyz' or something like that and their posts remained. IMHO there was enough personally identifying info in some of their posts to identify the user if you personally knew them. I certainly did not agree with that approach.

 

[fholbert]

This question is nagging me for some time. What do the admin and other forum members do when they get to know when someone is passed away?. I have not read the policy or remember what was mentioned. Me, being a health care professional, I deal with this everyday and try and have some answers to difficult questions like this.

Do TMC leave the profile untouched? Or use customary RIP signs and keep the posts active?

Or do we have a "Rest In Peace" group that adds a banner. Or do we have an In Memoriam forum where we post whatever information we have, an obit if we can find one or the family provides one.

Or do we set the account user to disable if not used for few months? - Or like google send some reminder to the nearest kin and give owneship of the emails?

Does the old post remain?

Anyway, my apologies for asking about this, but when I made the comment about memory loss to remember finger print scanner part it got me to thinking about how the forum handle this?

Not a very relevant post - may be more of a question to admin/moderators. But was wondering whether it will shed some light and people get to know it. Btw, none of my family members read my posts/ responses here however, I am wondering whether knowing that part of me is also important for them to understand me! If so, how easy to access my account and read some of those posts?

Btw, please resist making any insensitive comments, thank you.

@GeorgeSymonds - please move this as it fits the forum rules.

I’m just a user here, but I own an aviation forum that uses the same forum software. I‘d guess I rairly know when someone passes away. When I do know, I do nothing to their account.

 

[spdpsba]

When I do know, I do nothing to their account.

I think RIP symbols are just a mark of respect - as far as with family consent and they inform the admin about user passing away.

I agree with another OP that though we exchange few posts and may know the user name etc., and little bit of their online personality we don’t know them as friends etc., But at the same time lots of active members and well known members are spending considerable amount of their free time on this forum mostly trying to help someone with their tech knowledge or some sort of problem solving. Should their posts and contributions should be deleted with a time framed approach? or just left as it is - sometime they may not be relevant after few years as Tesla reinvents and updates so often? or a RIP symbol or something similar will make their contributions remembered by other members?

The other one is about family able to access the material if that happens - and they are aware of the members contributions and they want to/interested in reading some of their contributions. It may help if there is a process in place.

Though I don’t have any strong views on what needs to be there - I will be happy if there is a way to achieve this rather than being deleted or inactive. I have a young child who doesn’t really understand why his daddy spends time doing this. He knows my interest in contributing to this forum and may be at some point get to read some of this. A well remembered forum is like a dear friend - irrespective of whether you make friends there or not those memories will stay there - for them!

 

[Tony Hoyle]

Unfortunately the forum Admin take the approach that everything stays, irrespective. When I was a mod, there was someone who wanted to to exercise their 'right to be forgotten'. It didn't happen, and they simply became 'deleted user xyz' or something like that and their posts remained. IMHO there was enough personally identifying info in some of their posts to identify the user if you personally knew them. I certainly did not agree with that approach.

I faced similar back in my mailing list days, and my position was I would delete their posts but not the replies without permission from everyone that had replied, so much of what they had written - and their email address - remained. Also in that case the list was mirrored all over the place and I had no control over that. They weren't happy, but at least didn't follow up on the legal threats.

 

[Kansalis]

Personally, I use a secure password manager for all my logins. I've made arrangements for the master password for that system to be passed to my family in the event that anything should happen to me. It has notes against any important sites or accounts. Everything is digital these days, I have 470 saved sites in there right now. Most are irrelevant site logins like Sainsbury's or M&S etc, but it has all the sites I regularly visit & contribute to and can be sorted by most recently used. I think it will make things a lot easier for those who may need those details.

 

[WannabeOwner]

Unfortunately the forum Admin take the approach that everything stays, irrespective.

Should their posts and contributions should be deleted with a time framed approach?

Deleting posts is fraught. They are quoted in other posts, linked back to the original (which enables checking context etc.)

Users editing / deleting posts is a nightmare (and time-limited here, but I've been on forums where it wasn't and a user, in a fit of pique, deleting all their posts ... made a right mess of all the threads.

My family (all members very eco, and probably best described as "Keen on Tesla") only know I'm here because I sometimes educate them with nuggets from the forum - including "Lots of people disagree with that viewpoint".

But, unlike what some others have said here, I don't think they would be the least bit interested in the content I have generated, and would want the least amount of Admin when I shuffle off. Ability to log in to the hundreds of places I frequent would just be a burden (but I think they would be keen on my Sainsbury / M&S etc. accounts, just for any freebies I might have clocked up!)

Hadn't occurred to me that others would view the resource, here, as a benefit for those left behind who are grieving. All my family members are busy people, achieving (or setting about achieving!) their goals. We fill our days already ...