I now have really good suspicion as to what the new product is. Received my long, long awaited sun screen for the panoramic windshield in my non-existent Model X. That's when it clicked. Elon had the Model X, which was too overly complicated to ever build, designed because of a personal need right? So maybe this new product is something he needs. He is getting old, and all of us old people know that the Sun is no friend, and in fact it can kill you. At the very least it makes your skin wrinkly and no one likes that. I saw a Seinfeld episode on melanoma a long time ago that confirms this, so trust me on this. So I think this new product will be sunscreen. No not the flimsy crappy thing they sent me today. You can't make a profit off of something they give away for free. Not only have I read that on the Internet but I did the math and I just don't see profit in it. Also who wants a sun screen for a car that can't be built and no one would buy if they could afford it anyway.
No what I am talking about is sunscreen to protect us all from that known killer Sunshine. Using all his knowledge of physics and dark holes I bet he came up with a formula that blocks out all those deadly, burning Sun rays. Even if it is a scam like all his other businesses (yeah rockets, like that will ever work), it will be a big show and he'll have a prototype and all that other stuff they do at unveilings. We will probably see the stock price of Coppertone plummet, so that might be a good play to short. (Note: please don't take investment advice from some anonymous poster on a random Internet blog site unless you really, really want to get rich quick).
So how does this tie in with the SCTY acquisition you ask? Simple he realized that SolarCity was just about to break out and he needed to stop that. There can be no good that comes out of Sun worshipping products like solar panels. They had to be stopped. So Tesla acquires them and then kills all those products. You really think the October 28th event is for new SCTY products? It is to announce they will be closing up shop after the merger to move onto their next scam, I mean business. That is the Sun lotion business. Sun is evil, that is why we need more coal. Burn enough coal and you block out that evil Sun with all the healthy soot. Also it is certainly much more environmentally friendly to blow the tops off of mountains to get the coal to burn than dig up all that lithium. Plus lithium is much better used in grease to lube real cars, not those fake electric battery golf cart things.
And until we get a good layer of coal soot surrounding the Earth, people will need sunscreen, and that is where Tesla makes a killing. And best thing is there are no state laws protecting sunscreen dealers so they can sell direct in all 50 states and even the territories without having to bribe politicians. That's a big saving there to pump up the bottom line. Just think how much sunscreen tubes they can produce in Freemont, let alone the GFs in Nevada and NY? We are talking billions a week. Those kind of production numbers are much better than a few measly thousand non-buildable vehicles a month. That should make all the anonymous posters here happy, shouldn't it?