Xdama it is because you have the history of that conflict completely wrong.
It is very similar to this case where Croatia voted to leave because the serbs has started to dismantle the work of Tito and to dominate all aspects of the country (Tito had enforced a multi ethnic communist party state and a croat could do well, a muslim could do well, etc). So they wanted to leave. Solvenia left first but the Serbs couldn't get there and no serbs really lived there. Croatia border Serbia and the border areas were mixed. Yugoslav army was ordered to invade to stop the croatia from leaving and it spiraled into hell from there.
Croatia was not the "aggressor" so much as they wanted to leave Yugoslavia. Anyone that was not serbian felt the same way. Bosnians, Albanians in Kosovo, Croats, Solvenians. The serbs were the aggressor, the ones that carried out the massacres, the ones convicted in the ICC. A few croat were also convicted of war crimes. In croatia it got ugly but it wouldn't have if the serb dominated government had not been determined to impose will by force. The history of the breakup of yugoslavia was very ugly, plenty of wrong by both sides but it was mostly the serbs that behaved in a brutal and criminal fashion. Trying to hold something together by force is silly, the chechs and slovaks split nicely. Putin did not learn this lesson or care.
You got it mostly right, yet, as I've lived this experience I feel compelled to add couple of things. Ethically, I am Serbian, but I was opposed to Serbia's action (MIlosevic's actions) throughout his campaign, while student and later, until I moved to Canada '97.
Firstly, leaders of Croatia, Bosnia, Serbia, and Serbian breakaway regions were all idiots, uninterested in reasonable solutions; they all have blood on their hands. Milosevic (Serbia) had most weapons so he did most damage, but tactics were similar.
Part that complicates picture is that Croatia had significant Serbian minority (25% or so) that felt threatened, with good reasons: mad Croatian leader that was threatening them by invoking some of the Nazi paraphernalia. Serbians, Jews and Gypsies experienced genocid in Croatia (by Croatians) during WW2 (google Jasenovac), so this created real sense of fear with Serbians there.
Bosnia was way more complicated: 43% Muslim, 37% Serbs and about 20% Croatians. Everyone felt threatened, mostly because all leaders were pushing for war, and there was a lot of bad blood from WW2. Serbians had most weapons, see below.
Milosevic rose on the platform of protecting Serbs, that then he turned into aggression against others, trying to create Big Serbia by carving out all regions where Serbians were majority, so wanting to take parts of Croatia and Bosnia. This was trough encouraging and supplying weapons to Serbian rebels inside those regions, and sending volunteers from Serbia. Those volunteers, bottom of the barrel (and most naive), war seems to attract the worst people. And Milosevic had lots of weapons by basically grabbing 90% of ex-Yugoslavian weapon systems.
There were no good guys here - history is a lot more grey than black and white. Including NATO's role in bombing of Serbia (re Kosovo, continuation of the story, after Bosnia)
, not unlike what Russians do now to Ukraine. You may not believe it, but I have family there. They are forever marked by that experience and for years kept talking about it. My mom told me about house shaking from the bombs falling couple blocks away, while they were hiding in the basement... Chinese Embassy in Belgrade was struck and turned into rubble... Graphite bombs caused power outage every single day for most of the country. Regular passenger train was hit, with over 160 dead... Serbia surrendered after carpet bombing that obliterated 400 soldiers in one attack - 18 to 19 year old kids drafted after high school, as Serbia at the time didn't have professional army.
And with all damage that NATO did, there are many anecdotes that show NATO wasn't actually trying to be evil: pilots repeatedly emptying their arsenals on carton model of a tank(rebuilt overnight), in the same place, every single day. Or dropping bombs where there is nothing, NOTHING. It's just... war, and bad things happen.
I'll admit that Milosevic provoked NATO, by not wanting to engage in any reasonable solution for Kosovo. By this point no one trusted Milosevic anything, so even-though Kosovo was part of Serbia, he managed to lose it...
My point is that world politics and history is a grey, complicated and ugly affair. It's really hard to understand full picture.
For example: my dad, brainwashed by Milosevic propaganda STOLE my vote to support Milosevic. After huge fight, he... did it again next time... Full control of media is really, really powerful...
I just wish for PEACE - no objective and goal (to me) could be worth mothers' grief that will be burying their sons. No matter the side...
I won't respond to any comments on this post, too painful relieving all those years...