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P3D+ rear ended - total loss? current repair times?

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Spouse was rear ended today (he is okay) in our fairly new P3D+. He was at a complete stop pulled over for emergency vehicles (as were the vehicles in the other lane) when a van rear ended him at 40-45 mph. Their airbags deployed.

Any thoughts on whether this looks like a total loss or not? In case the info is relevant, the Model 3 wouldn't go into neutral/tow mode despite trying for an hour+ (called Tesla too...no help), and the tow truck driver commented that it looks like there is frame damage.
 

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I've seen similar damage levels cost 10-15k to repair. However here in the Netherlands the term "total loss" is a purely technical terminology implying that costs of repair are higher than reacquiring an identical vehicle in identical state. As I owned a fairly new BMW 320i at the time that would've been 40+k, so the insurance just coughed up the repairs.

From that perspective I highly doubt this car is totalled, although it could be if there is indeed structural frame damage that would require replacing the frame, battery pack and at least one engine - that would more or less imply rebuilding the entire car. Get an estimate, only an expert can reliably judge the damage and whether it's feasible and economically viable to repair it.
 
I just sent my car into the repair shop 2 weeks ago for getting rear ended as well, not as bad as yours though, and the initial estimate was about 3000$ pre repair shop drop off. After the repair shop had taken the bumper apart to analyze the damage fully, the price soared to 23,000$! So it will be as much and likely more damage for yours i would imagine. Glad your spouse is ok, and hope the repair process is smooth and efficient for ya!
 
It's very hard to estimate damage properly just from the outside these days. Dents, bumpers and paint are not the expensive parts, it's the hidden internal damage that can make it soar. I've seen a car get totalled because it rear-ended a car quite softly, but the other one had a tow hitch that pierced the radiator and dislodged the engine. Barely visible damage on the outside but that "detail" made the estimated repair costs go up fivefold.
 
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Had a colleague with a Mercedes SUV that was declared totalled because of frame damage because he had just forgotten to put on the handbrake and it gently rolled up to a curb...yes, you can't always see it from the outside.

Outer panels damaged: not really an issue.
Inner panels: it's gonna cost you.
Structural frame: ouch.
 
Just an update for others who might want this as a reference or end up in a similar situation. The repair estimate came out to $26,500, part of that was indeed structural in several places.

After sending a demand letter earlier this week for diminished value, loss of use and other reimbursements, I got the call today and it is a total loss.

As a side note, this advice and detailed experience from @dvhart was priceless in putting together my own demand letter.