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Any one bothered by the windshield wiper control?

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It is rain season again and once again I find the 2 auto-sense modes insufficient for our rain. A software frequency adjustment to the auto-sense algorithm in the Settings would go a very long way towards making this a delightful feature rather than a frustrating one.
 
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Now that we're finally getting rain (yeah California whining), I'm realizing that the wiper controls are nuts. Only autsense, not explicit intermittent. I guess ok except that Autosense is possessed. Out in light rain where on a conventional intermittent setting, I'd have it wiping every 3-5 seconds. It starts out something like that. Then it goes ape doodoo and runs at full speed with no pause. WTH? The only way it slows down is if I turn it OFF then back on. Any tricks to make it behave? Or is this a defect for the shop?
 
VW automatic wipers are fabulous

You can't have had the ones we had on a Golf then ... they were absolutely hideous. Impossible to tune them so that they worked intuitively - they switched interval at almost every stroke, which was very distracting for the driver; they moved up to double-speed wiping when there was no need at all (another distraction for the driver), and if ever I needed to override them (passing a truck and I wanted to force double speed before the screen got soaked, or turn it down from double-speed to something more tolerable) the stalk had no relationship with actual wiper motion so either needed considerable mental effort to figure out where it was and how many positions to move it, or do a trial-and-error approach, which was further distraction from the road. Seems nuts to me that they didn't provide an old fashioned manual "adjustable speed mode" in addition to automatic-only. In the previous Golf we had the garage managed to pull a fuse, or cut a wire, or something that made the change for us, in the new Golf no such workaround was available, apparently.
 
It is rain season again and once again I find the 2 auto-sense modes insufficient for our rain. A software frequency adjustment to the auto-sense algorithm in the Settings would go a very long way towards making this a delightful feature rather than a frustrating one.

Yeah, it's pretty poor but trust me, it is A LOT better than it was back in early 2013 when I got my car. I think they have been tweaking it a bit with firmware updates over the years.