Settings -> Vehicle -> it will be to the right of "Headlights on Park"
If you have the right lights but no setting, then you need to do the following:
1. Have Tesla Engineering (just call customer support) enable the "curved lighting" option in your vehicle profile in their database
2. They will then push an OTA (not a firmware patch) to your car which will enable the setting
3. Take your car to the local SC and have them run a tool box body controller update
Then you will have working adaptive lights.
@hulk2k17 - So I did exactly the above. Customer Support said they dont know what I am talking about....and that they need to create a ticket for my local SC to solve this issue for me. Seems like going round and round in circles. Seems like Tesla is clueless on how to fix cars!