Only partly clickbait. I wouldn’t say I’m a hater but pretty cynical and hard to please. This could also be read as uncompromising or a refusal to lower my standards. Either way, I think I’m a pretty fair person. So here’s my review of my first month of Model Y/LR ownership. I’m coming from decades of BMW ownership as a benchmark and I work on all my older BMWs and motorbikes so have a decent grasp of design, engineering and parts/cost ratios etc.
BODY
I think it looks great. I don’t understand how anyone could call it remotely ugly. Tesla have managed to create a recognisable design language for their brand and not look over-designed (Germans of today) or anonymous (Far East). I quite like the crossover style shape but the only colour to get was midnight grey. White looks like an appliance and black looks like a taxi. Red is silly. I wanted black wheels but was never going for the bigger 20” as I knew the ride would suck. So instant swap for the same factory Gemini’s in satin black, the local wheel specialists have them on the shelf. I think they’re Tesla’s best looking wheel. Very happy with the looks, which are important to me.
INTERIOR
This is a massive success. Tesla’s decision to be bold and centre everything around a large screen makes the cabin a great place to be. Pillar-less glass roof, pillar-less doors are ace and the general zen vibes match the eco-smugness of wafting about town quietly - it’s a great place to be. Big thumbs up on this and the concealed venting system which helps maintain that minimalism is also smart - a coherent and well executed CONCEPT. The quality is not bad - it’s not premium German but seems solid enough. The pillar linings are cheap and the mats are thin but the dash, console and door cards are decent - the door cards especially have four different materials which I appreciate. The vegan leather is not close to leather at all but it’s not at all vinyl vibes. Storage is excellent from boot to frunk and centre console, class leading, open and shut case. Wireless chargers - again a no brainer.
DRIVE
The ride is awful. Even with the 19s. I cannot for the life of me understand why this could be as they must have had all the time and engineers they needed to tune and calibrate dampers before setting the final spec. As with other things, feels like Tesla’s are made for California / USA billiard smooth roads and to hell with everyone else. Drives ok but a large part of this is the nature of point-and-squirt EVs. Flabby handling but then the firm ride does get some body control. I have an LR and the range is disappointing, I cannot get remotely close to the 300+ miles and I'm no Senna. Even a solid 300 is far fetched. I hate being sold 'lab miles' is still legal.
INFOTAINMENT
Like the driver profile system with phone as key - excellent. Memorising settings as you change things - excellent. The UI and UX is poor however. Really poor. A mess of incoherence and bad design, not at all driver focused / safety focused. If you base your whole driving interaction around that one screen it must be FLAWLESS and it isn’t. Why aren't voice prompts used more? And voice commands are poor for a tech company. Some say it’s because they’re focused on future (LOL) autonomy so the driver isn’t important but it’s poor even in that context. I’ve covered this elsewhere.
FEATURES / SPEC
I really like the idea that there is no spec list to jack up the price. You get everything as standard (though that was probably a build efficiency decision than offering great customer value) but I dig it. I think the Enhanced Autopilot and FSD upgrades are a nonsense, especially in a congested big city like London where plain old PARKING SENSORS would be more welcome. Those software options are stupidly priced and criminally marketed. And I mean that in the go-to-prison sense. I can't believe people pay for them. Glad I swerved.
BUYING EXPERIENCE
Awful. Queued up in a cold tent, had my keys thrown at me and pretty much told to find my car and get out of there. Then again, people were QUEUING to take the things, at what other 'dealer' do you see that? This was after a few false starts on actual delivery. I’m exaggerating a tiny bit but it wasn’t far off. Let's just say it wasn't a £60K experience.
CUSTOMER SERVICE
Non existant. The flat out ignoring of customers asking for return calls / emails, the random feature yanks and flat out LYING about what the car can / might do in the future is astonishing. How they get away with this is mad. Feels like you're totally alone once they've got your cash, a horrible feeling. Strong brands are built AFTER purchase.
So in short, I want to love the car but Tesla is making me feel ‘meh’ about it. If they just focused a bit more on a few things it would be excellent. But their shitty attitude (and Elon’s BS) has absolutely put me off a second one or another one later on.
BODY
I think it looks great. I don’t understand how anyone could call it remotely ugly. Tesla have managed to create a recognisable design language for their brand and not look over-designed (Germans of today) or anonymous (Far East). I quite like the crossover style shape but the only colour to get was midnight grey. White looks like an appliance and black looks like a taxi. Red is silly. I wanted black wheels but was never going for the bigger 20” as I knew the ride would suck. So instant swap for the same factory Gemini’s in satin black, the local wheel specialists have them on the shelf. I think they’re Tesla’s best looking wheel. Very happy with the looks, which are important to me.
INTERIOR
This is a massive success. Tesla’s decision to be bold and centre everything around a large screen makes the cabin a great place to be. Pillar-less glass roof, pillar-less doors are ace and the general zen vibes match the eco-smugness of wafting about town quietly - it’s a great place to be. Big thumbs up on this and the concealed venting system which helps maintain that minimalism is also smart - a coherent and well executed CONCEPT. The quality is not bad - it’s not premium German but seems solid enough. The pillar linings are cheap and the mats are thin but the dash, console and door cards are decent - the door cards especially have four different materials which I appreciate. The vegan leather is not close to leather at all but it’s not at all vinyl vibes. Storage is excellent from boot to frunk and centre console, class leading, open and shut case. Wireless chargers - again a no brainer.
DRIVE
The ride is awful. Even with the 19s. I cannot for the life of me understand why this could be as they must have had all the time and engineers they needed to tune and calibrate dampers before setting the final spec. As with other things, feels like Tesla’s are made for California / USA billiard smooth roads and to hell with everyone else. Drives ok but a large part of this is the nature of point-and-squirt EVs. Flabby handling but then the firm ride does get some body control. I have an LR and the range is disappointing, I cannot get remotely close to the 300+ miles and I'm no Senna. Even a solid 300 is far fetched. I hate being sold 'lab miles' is still legal.
INFOTAINMENT
Like the driver profile system with phone as key - excellent. Memorising settings as you change things - excellent. The UI and UX is poor however. Really poor. A mess of incoherence and bad design, not at all driver focused / safety focused. If you base your whole driving interaction around that one screen it must be FLAWLESS and it isn’t. Why aren't voice prompts used more? And voice commands are poor for a tech company. Some say it’s because they’re focused on future (LOL) autonomy so the driver isn’t important but it’s poor even in that context. I’ve covered this elsewhere.
FEATURES / SPEC
I really like the idea that there is no spec list to jack up the price. You get everything as standard (though that was probably a build efficiency decision than offering great customer value) but I dig it. I think the Enhanced Autopilot and FSD upgrades are a nonsense, especially in a congested big city like London where plain old PARKING SENSORS would be more welcome. Those software options are stupidly priced and criminally marketed. And I mean that in the go-to-prison sense. I can't believe people pay for them. Glad I swerved.
BUYING EXPERIENCE
Awful. Queued up in a cold tent, had my keys thrown at me and pretty much told to find my car and get out of there. Then again, people were QUEUING to take the things, at what other 'dealer' do you see that? This was after a few false starts on actual delivery. I’m exaggerating a tiny bit but it wasn’t far off. Let's just say it wasn't a £60K experience.
CUSTOMER SERVICE
Non existant. The flat out ignoring of customers asking for return calls / emails, the random feature yanks and flat out LYING about what the car can / might do in the future is astonishing. How they get away with this is mad. Feels like you're totally alone once they've got your cash, a horrible feeling. Strong brands are built AFTER purchase.
So in short, I want to love the car but Tesla is making me feel ‘meh’ about it. If they just focused a bit more on a few things it would be excellent. But their shitty attitude (and Elon’s BS) has absolutely put me off a second one or another one later on.
