Your deposits are refundable as far as I have heard, so don't get too angry. The truth is, it is sad to a degree, but it is also understandable. Tesla at the moment is taking on a near impossible task, and at this very specific moment it is trying very hard to court the enthusiasts, potential customers and the Government for the loan. Without it, who knows what will happen. So driving the hype and pre-orders help prove that they are worthy of the loan and without a doubt that is what is driving the early release of the Model S, and the hype overdrive.
The 17inch screen is NOT a big deal, it's a tv screen, if that is why you are buying a car mount a laptop or lcd of your own for $500-1000 and be happy. The 45 minute charge, I think will come to fruition, I have read that they are "very close" in their internal testing to perfect it, however it likely will require money and time to make it happen. This is one article... Lets wait and see, perhaps he will stick to the 45 minute charge on Letterman tonight, and perhaps the article is wrong. The battery swap, well "problematic" and "requires thinking" hardly means it won't happen. The whole car and production is problematic and requires thinking.
Personally I'd wait before putting down a $40k deposit, though a refundable $5k one I would consider (keep in mind I am in Australia lol) until more concrete details, prices and options are evident. That said I don't blame Tesla for pushing forward very quickly on the Model S, and hyping and marketing it to drum up pre-orders in order to make it a reality, and fast. They have still delivered more than most EV companies, but don't forget they are a company working in a very tough environment and market, so caveat emptor, buyer beware. That said, calling them outright liars, and getting so emotional about it is pretty silly.
They delivered pretty close to what they promised on the Roadster. And pretty close was lightyears ahead of anything else on the market place. Remember most of this stuff goes vaporware. So if they get pretty close with the Model S (and pretty close includes all major promises) it will again be lightyears ahead and a great car. That said, Elon is marketing the car, in the way he does all his products (he markets SpaceX at times in similar ways). You can't blame him for that, it's a tough, competitive marketplace and they are operating on a much smaller budget than their competitors. And at the end of the day who else is doing anything remotely as earth changing as him? So relax a little, they will deliver a great and revolutionary car to the market place (and meet quite likely all major commitments) in a timely fashion, but don't get upset if it doesn't have the 21inch wheels as standard