So the problem is likely with my iPhone, and not the car. Other employees at the service center paired their phones to my car and there was no problem.
So I believe that it is an issue with my phone.
Uh, no. That's not the way standards work. If you build a device that is designed to work with other devices via Bluetooth and that other device sends you crap, and your device misbehaves in some minor way, such as not being able to see call history or not being able to make voice calls, then yes, you can blame it on the other device for sending bad data.
BUT... if another device sends you bad data and your device completely craps itself and stops working entirely, that's your fault for not validating input properly.
So what's happening here is that Tesla didn't test some edge case in their Bluetooth syncing implementation, and because of some data on your device (who knows what), the Tesla side of things is going berzerk whenever it momentarily silences the iPhone to play the autosteer chime. That's squarely a bug on the Tesla side of things, regardless of whether the data coming from the iPhone is bad. In fact, the phone shouldn't even be told when the car is doing that, and therefore, the code involved in phone syncing shouldn't even be doing anything at that point, which makes this a particularly
bizarre bug on Tesla's side.
Moreover, just because it only happens with one device, that isn't sufficient cause to assume that the data is actually bad (as opposed to just unexpected). For example, your phone might be the only one that happens to have a single contact with more than 255 phone numbers for junk callers, or the only one with a contact that has a fax number, or the only one with a contact that received a call from someone who, thanks to different daylight saving time policies, had more than a 24-hour offset from your current time zone, or it might be the only one that got a phone call with a particular invalid caller ID value, such as 000-000-0000, or....
From a software engineer's perspective, Tesla is
definitely at fault when this kind of bug happens. That doesn't necessarily mean that Apple might not
also be at fault, of course (the exercise of determining whether the data that tickled Tesla's bug is valid or invalid is left as an exercise for the reader), but ultimately, any piece of software must be designed to cope with bad data. From a software security perspective, that's absolutely mandatory.