I hear you but I think you are going to drive yourself nuts with this. The fact that you can actually "feel" the dampers getting softer is quite impressive. How do they get softer? Do they have a break in period? If so, what is it? Are they leaking fluid? Who actually makes the Model 3 damper for Tesla? Can you call them and find out the specs and if they are used in any other cars on the market?
IMO, from performance perspective the Model 3 suspension is nothing to write home about, even in the Performance version I own. It strikes a pretty good balance between sport and comfort for the street. What would make it a lot better is adaptive dampers like you see on a lot of other performance cars. This way when you are in the mood and the roads a smooth you flip it to Sport or Track mode and you get the firm ride and body control you are looking for, then back to Tour mode for the crappy roads and cruising.
Since Tesla does not offer adaptive dampers as an option the next best thing is to turn to the aftermarket. The Miata is a fun car but many can't stand how much body roll it has even in Club trim. Immediately new owners swap out the sway bars, springs and struts and dial in the suspension just the way they like it.