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Easiest Car to wash, ever?

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It was done when I got the car -- about 18 months ago.

At this point, I'm not sure what my options are -- if I can just get a coat of CQuartz on top of the OCP that's there -- or do I have to wait for the OCP to diminish, or does it have to be removed before putting something else down? How do you do a decon wash?

Decon wash- wash w car pro reset shampoo. Dry car and in the shade spray iron X on the surface. Let sit for at least 5 mins. Wash again w reset. Your Detailer can do this for you if you like. I'm pretty sure that this will solve your issue. Contaminants will sit on top of Opti or any other coating and block it, the Decon wash should remove the contaminants.

If you decide to have another brand of coating installed, IMO the Opti needs to be polished off.
 
I did exactly this for my annual beauty treatment. But I also did a light claying, as even after Reset-IronX-Reset, as she wasn't as perfect as I wanted. Then she was ready. Then Recharge and she is now perfect!

Decon wash- wash w car pro reset shampoo. Dry car and in the shade spray iron X on the surface. Let sit for at least 5 mins. Wash again w reset. Your Detailer can do this for you if you like. I'm pretty sure that this will solve your issue. Contaminants will sit on top of Opti or any other coating and block it, the Decon wash should remove the contaminants.

If you decide to have another brand of coating installed, IMO the Opti needs to be polished off.
 
I had Opti-coat Pro applied by a professional, and I'm sure he did a great job (he has a lot of positive reviews on TMC), but the end result was underwhelming. The finish wasn't "glass smooth" like I expected, it had kind of a 'tacky' feel to it, even when just washed. Dirt doesn't just slide off.. it collects road dirt no differently than my other cars. So I'm not sure what when wrong compared to everyone else's experience. I might just go for a color wrap or plasti-dip in the future.

Also, I do the two-bucket ONR wash and that works really well. Much better than the traditional soak, lather, rinse, dry cycle I used to to which took upwards of an hour.
Sorry to hear thaat you were not told about this before it was done. The tacky feeling is a well known property of Opticoat Pro. Pete and I discussed all the options before he did my car and we settled on the Opticoat anyway because it was the best option for my car's color and environment. Here's the thing - the tacky feeling can be mitigated with some GTechniq C2V3. Get some of that, dilute it with 6 parts water to 1 part C2V3, and use it as a detailing spray after washing the car. Spray some on a microfiber cloth, wipe it on, let it sit for a few seconds, and wipe again. I do it about every third time I wash the car and in only takes a few minutes. This was recommended by FIPete at the time we discussed the install.

Edit - here's the stuff: GTechniq C2v3 Liquid Crystal 500 ml.
 
I've washed and waxed cars since before I could drive, and I found a video on YouTube titled something like "10 common mistakes people make washing a car". I was doing several! Like using only one wash bucket (you put dirt into your wash water), washing around the car instead of top-to-bottom (the car's dirtier on the bottom, wash that last), and not using a clay bar on the windshield. I shall amend my ways when my Model S arrives in a couple of weeks.