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Update: After thoroughly cleaning my windshield - especially - in front of the cameras - I had much better results. While the wipers did engage briefly at first, they did not repeat.

Class action may be needed. Alternatively, repeated service requests that only underscore the inability to use even simple cruise control could trigger a lemon law buy back. I think my state gives them three tries.

I feel your pain and am also facing a cross country trip soon with no cruise control because auto wipers go off constantly and incessantly. Tesla needs to go back to simple cruise control until they fix this issue. Autopilot in its current state is a complete rip off.