Unless I'm missing something, I don't think you can ever get it to work with 3 phase. Like Eberhard said in post #21, they are 120 deg apart. You'll discover this yourself when you wire the polarity lights so they are both off when it's OK to charge.
It would help if we could also see the "resistors" that were switched on to start the chargers (did you also have diodes?), and how you handled all three pilot signals, one of which you have to generate.