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Basic Human Needs - 2015

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There was this man on a cruise ship in the Caribbean for the first time. It was wonderful, the experience of his life. He was being waited on hand and foot. But it did not last: a hurricane came up unexpectedly and the ship went down almost instantly.

The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No people, no supplies, nothing. The man looked around. There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was it. He was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of it. So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, and mostly looked to the sea for a ship to come to his rescue.

One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Could it be true? Was it really a ship? No, from around the corner of the island came this rowboat. In it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, or at least in the previous four months. She was tall, tanned, and her blond hair flowing in the sea breeze gave her an almost ethereal being. She spotted him also as he waved and yelled and screamed to get her attention and she rowed her boat towards him.

In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replied, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed on here when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he said. "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many of you are there? Where did you get the rowboat? You must have been really lucky to have a rowboat wash-up with you?" "It is only me," she responded, "and the rowboat didn't wash up." "Well then," said the man, how did you get the rowboat?"

"I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island," replied the woman. "The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." "But, but," asked the man, "what about tools and hardware, how did you do that?" "Oh, no problem," replied the woman, "on the south side of the island there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain
temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

"But, enough of that," she went on. "Where do you live?" At this man was forced to confess that he had been sleeping on the beach. "Well, let's row over to my place," she said. So they both got into the rowboat and left for her side of island. The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that led to the approach to her place. She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully woven hemp rope. They walked up a stone walk and around a palm tree. There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. "It's not much," she said, "but I call it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?" "No, thanks," answered the man, "one more coconut juice and I will puke." "It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied, "I have a still. How about a pina colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.

After a while when they had exchanged their stories, the woman asked, "Tell me, have you always had a beard? "No, the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until now". "Well if you would like to shave, there is a man's razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom." So, the man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle; two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened onto its end inside of a swivel mechanism. The man shaved, showered, and went back downstairs. "You look great," said the woman. "I think I will go and slip into something more comfortable." The man continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short time, the woman returned wearing fig leaves strategically positioned and smelling faintly of gardenia.

"You know," she said, "we've both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. Have you been lonely? Is there anything that you've particularly missed? Something that all men and women need? Something that would be really nice to have right now?"

"Yes, there is," the man replied eagerly, as he moved closer to the woman while fixing a winsome gaze upon her. "Tell me. Do you happen to have an Internet connection?"