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My car is a nonstarter

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Had a software download last night and this morning my car won't go. Error messages include "car needs service" and "3!". It charged normally but now the port stays black and I can't reconnect. The bluetooth sucks all sounds so, until I disconnected it, I couldn't talk with ownership. Unlike other glitches, it won't reboot either. I was already on 6.0 so this was an upgrade to that. Anyone else with similar issues?
 
Oh yes. They even sent a ranger on a Sunday but, alas, no go. It's being towed in tomorrow with an unclear diagnosis. Glad this happened at home and think I'll avoid downloads on a trip. I'll update the thread with the diagnosis.
 
It's getting interesting. The tow trucks came and went though the car remains in its home base. Problems include inability to engage tow mode, height, or even neutral. Garage door is too narrow for dollies and the space between the garage and retaining wall too short for the flatbed. Much better to break down on the road than in the garage it seems. The local service center will figure something out but it's still a puzzle.
 
It's getting interesting. The tow trucks came and went though the car remains in its home base. Problems include inability to engage tow mode, height, or even neutral. Garage door is too narrow for dollies and the space between the garage and retaining wall too short for the flatbed. Much better to break down on the road than in the garage it seems. The local service center will figure something out but it's still a puzzle.

Jack it up then put each wheel on a rollable dolly?
 
Well, She's off to the mother ship. Move involved a deactivation of the parking brakes with a jumper, uphill muscle out the garage door, and a Tesla/soap box derby run onto their trick flatbed truck up the foot-wide ramps. I'll update the gremlins.
 
Here's a step-by-step video of how to access the 12v terminals behind the front grill: Video Tutorial-How To: What to do if your 12v Battery Dies
I know that part already, it's also 100% irrelevant to the situation described in this thread where the battery has a charge, but the software/firmware is hooped.
How to manually disengage the parking brake "with a jumper" as was described by the OP would be a very useful thing to know, and to have printed on the tow instructions card.
 
She's back and I'm told it was an easy fix once they'd cleared the botched download and reapplied. Sorry I can't detail the brake deactivation. I'll stop by and ask Steve my next time by the service center. It may have been a more specialized bit of equipment than just a jumper since he hooked in to a connector behind the right side carpeting in the trunk.