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NEWSBREAK: Tesla causing a New Medical Condition.

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MEDICAL NEWS RELEASE:

A new medical phenomenon is sweeping through Plastic Surgery offices through the United States. First diagnosed in 2012, Physicians and Plastic Surgeons in particular have noticed a new medical condition, and have named it TESLAITIS. The predominant diagnostic feature is a permanent upturning of the outer edges of the lips, resulting in increased wrinkles at the outer surface of the eyes and mid-facial region. This was first noticed in Southern California, and has spread throughout the United States. There are scattered reports that this condition has recently been diagnosed in Canada, with an occasional confirmed cases noted in Europe, especially in Scandinavian Countries. These areas have been warned that an increase in the number of confirmed TESLAITIS cases is coming, with the medical community conducting conferences on possible cures.

In the United States Journal of External Bliss Medicine, treatments have been discussed, but unsatisfactory results are being obtained. They include regular injections of Botox into the areas above the outer margins of the Orbicularis Oris muscle (the muscle surrounding the mouth) to prevent the upturned outside edges of the mouth, and injections into areas lateral (outside) to the eyes to diminish "Crows Feet" as a result of the constantly upturned smile line. Even more radical treatments have been suggested such as ICE procedures (not the cold kind, but driving a conventional internal combustion driven form of personal transportation), but this has lead to its own phenomenon and has resulted in just the opposite effect of TESLAITIS with the ultimate prognosis of protracted downturn of the outside edges of the lower lip. This result has had positive effects on the "Crows Feet", but the overall mental status of patients undergoing ICE treatment has deteriorated to the point that this particular treatment has been discontinued.

If you see this condition, please notify the proper authorities, but be careful as the condition can be difficult to hear coming because of its quiet nature, which is another one of the diagnostic characteristics.


I have been diagnosed with TESLAITIS.
 
Yes, those of us working in the medical field are seeing more of this trend. We're replacing the old diagnosis code (ICD-9) of 780.4 (Dizziness and Giddiness) with a new code. The old code worked well for reservation holders (Dizziness) and deliveries (Giddiness) but now Telsaitis will require a new ICD-9 or ICD-10 code. For some reason, companies such as Ford, GM, and others are lobbying Congress to exclude related treatments from mandatory healthcare benefits.